Jog On

Despite my recent attempts to avoid using FirstBus (WorstBus would be more appropriate! Ha!) I was forced into it today by the weather.  A healthy young man boarded - I assume he'd just been at the gym as he was wearing a full tracksuit - and asked the driver to let him off three stops later.  Now, all you country mice out there will be thinking "Three stops?  That's the equivalent of a days walking over fen and fields wearing my most comfortable clogs".  However, in the city of Glasgow bus stops are only marginally less common than Greggs the baker.  And here you are never more than 30 wheezy paces from your nearest Steak Bake.  The guy did indeed get off in 3 stops (about a 4 minute walk) and then headed off towards the Maryhill Shopping Centre.  I let my local readers draw their own conclusion here.

Now this guy didn't look unhealthy, but I can bet his arteries are stuffed with the most delicious fat deposits in the decadent West.  This country's appalling diet is well documented as is the resulting heart-disease and obesity problem.  I don't think people specifically want to balloon to a massive size and then die young, but it is certainly seems to be all the rage right now.  The government recently announced new incentives to help people get fit and shed weight.  Isn't it depressing that this may be the only way to encourage people to fix all their horrendous dietary and lifestyle mistakes?  The right wing press has already taken exception to the cash incentive (see the Daily Mail and Telegraph for comments from their readers). 

Here are some simple ideas which may be more palatable to the masses (but not as palatable as a deliciously deep-fried pizza):

1) Stop selling football tops in anything over a size Medium.  

2) Narrower doors on buses and trains, operating a 'You Must Be This Slim to Ride' policy.  Also, you have to travel at least 6 stops unless you have a doctor's note saying otherwise.

3) All fast food vans will be unhitched from their moorings and moved to a specially constructed city centre track.  They will only be licensed to sell food if they spend their opening hours travelling round and round the track at a minimum speed of 5mph, forcing their discerning clientele to jog alongside as they order their egg and lorne roll.